What We Learned Along the Way Read online

  Chapter 6- Malikah

  After Mariam dropped her off, Malikah took a long shower and thought about last night. She struggled to fight back her own tears as she thought about Jaime. Though Jaime had always been the one she liked the least in their friendship, last night she felt like she was Jaime. She could identify with everything she said, everything she felt.

  Malikah was in her 4th year at Smithson College, but credit-wise she was only a sophomore. She went to college because that’s what you do when you graduate high school, but she never had a plan or any direction. She figured she’d find her calling after a year or so, but things hadn’t gone as planned. After a long talk with her parents and career counselor, she went ahead and declared Business as her major, but that did nothing to help her decide what she wanted to do. She felt so lost, so pointless. It seemed like every paper she wrote, every class she took, every presentation she ever gave were just tasks on a random list of things she had to do. She never felt like she was working toward anything, and she hated that feeling. She considered, countless times, dropping out, but she didn’t want to hear her mother’s complaints.

  Every time she tried to talk to her mother, she told her she wasn’t working hard enough in college, and that she should have met a nice husband by now. “You remember the Khan’s daughter? She found her husband by the end of her freshman year.” Her mother always had to bring up someone who had already found her husband.

  “Well, I’m sorry, mama. I’m just not as quick as everyone else. It takes some people time to find a good man.”

  “Time is what you don’t have. Those hips are getting wider by the day,” her mother said, patting Malikah on the hip.

  Malikah had to laugh to keep from crying. She hated when her mother talked about her like that. Where does she think I got these hips from? she thought. Malikah and her mother’s bodies looked almost identical.

  “Even if I never get married, you’ve always got Kalimah,” Malikah said aloud. I’m sure she and the glorious Adam will give you some beautiful, small-hipped babies.”

  Kalimah was Malikah’s younger sister. For as far back as Malikah could remember, Kalimah had always been the pretty one, the skinny one, the cool one, and the one all the boys liked. So, it came as no surprise that seven months earlier, at the tender age of 19, she had married Adam, a handsome 28-year-old doctor who had just been featured as one of the city’s most eligible bachelors. Malikah loved her sister, but couldn’t help but envy how perfect her life was. In their mother’s eyes, Kalimah could do no wrong.

  “I’m not worried about Kalimah. She’s got her man. I’m worried about you,” her mother yelled as Malikah left the room, trying her best not to react. She went upstairs and called Mariam, who was still at work and had to whisper into the phone.

  “Hey, Malikah. Is everything okay?” She could tell from the sound in her friend’s voice that she was angry about something.

  “My mother has been giving me the marriage speech again.”

  “Oh, no,” Mariam said softly.

  “Then she practically told me I’m too fat to get married. And she wonders why I eat all the time. Mariam, I’ve got to find a husband. I think that’s the only thing that will shut my mother up.”

  “Just be sure not to make a rushed decision. I don’t want to see you marrying some random man, one of those desperate old men that will marry anything that appears to be female,” Mariam warned. They both laughed, thinking about all the old men they’d seen chasing young women.

  “It’s not that bad yet, but it might get there. I just don’t know how much more I can take.”

  “Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t you and Jaime get an apartment together? That will solve both of your parent problems,” Mariam said enthusiastically. She was proud of her idea and had forgotten she was at work. She was getting a little too comfortable. “Girl, let me get off this phone before I get fired. I’ll call you when I get off.”

  Malikah barely heard Mariam hang up the phone. The last thing she remembered was the part about her and Jaime getting an apartment. Me and Jaime? That would never work. We’d probably end up killing each other. But after last night, she did see Jaime in another light, and they did at least have annoying parents in common. Could it work?

  “He-lllo?” Kalimah said as she walked into her sister’s room. “What are you doing? I’ve been knocking on the door for about 5 minutes.” Malikah was surprised to see her sister. Ever since she had gotten married, she didn’t come by the house much.

  “Kalimah, what are you doing here? Sorry about the door. I was on the phone. I didn’t hear you.” She gave her sister a big hug. “You look great, as usual.” Sometimes, Malikah couldn’t believe they had come from the same gene pool.

  “Thanks. You too,” Kalimah said, giving her sister a once-over. “So, what’s been going on? Sorry I missed your birthday yesterday. Adam had this huge charity banquet to go to. He said it wouldn’t look right for him to show up without his wife. You should’ve seen the dress I wore. It was…” Kalimah cut herself off in mid-sentence. “Look at me talking about myself. I came up here to hear about your birthday.”

  Malikah let out a loud sigh. “I didn’t do much,” she said in a drab voice. She paused for a second. “Except go to the Divas All-Stars Concert!” she screamed. “Kalimah, it was great. I was so close I could have been a backup dancer. You should have seen me, girl. I was getting it.” She grabbed her sister’s hand and started dancing around the room.

  “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, Lika.” Hearing that nickname took Malikah back to childhood when Kalimah couldn’t pronounce her name correctly.

  “Where is Adam?”

  “Adam? He had some work to do. I came over by myself,” Kalimah answered quickly.

  “Adam is one hard working man. I haven’t seen him since the wedding. You don’t get lonely with him being at work all the time?” Malikah asked.

  “Oh, not really. I’ve made some friends in the neighborhood, and he calls me a lot from work. He’s really a great guy.” For a second, Malikah thought she saw a glimpse of the same pain she had seen in Jaime eyes.

  No way. She must just be tired.

  “So, what’s married life like?” she asked with a devious smile. “I want to know everything. Start from the beginning and talk slow.” Even though Malikah was oldest, she always felt like the younger one when it came to relationships.

  Kalimah laughed. “It’s nice, really nice, but it gets tough sometimes. Just make sure when you get married, you choose the right guy.”

  “When I get married,” Malikah repeated flatly. “Right, that’ll happen soon,” she said in a sarcastic voice.

  “It might. You never know. When I met Adam, I had no idea we’d be married.”

  “Yea, but that’s different. Everyone knew you’d be married, and everyone knows I won’t be.”

  Kalimah hated when her sister talked negatively about herself. “What’s stopping you? You’re beautiful and intelligent. You just have the wrong attitude. If you don’t believe you’re a good catch, it’ll be hard for someone else to.”

  “That’s easy for you to say. You’re gorgeous. I don’t look like you.”

  “Actually, you do look like me. We have the same eyes, nose and hair. We’re sisters, remember? But even if you didn’t, who cares? You don’t have to look like me to be beautiful. You’re just as cute as I am. All you need is a little makeover.” Kalimah stood up and walked over near the full-length mirror. “Come stand here,” she said, pointing to the ground in front of the mirror.

  “For what?” Malikah pouted. She hated looking in the mirror.

  “Just be quiet and come,” Kalimah demanded. Malikah got up sluggishly and walked over to her sister. Kalimah stood behind her and put her hands on her shoulders. “Stand up straight. Roll your shoulders back. Look like you have some confidence. See, that looks so much better,” she said after Malikah stopped slouching. “You have to learn how to dress for your body. This shirt is too big. It makes you look sloppy.” Kalimah grabbed the extra fabric on her sister’s shirt and gathered it in the back, making the shirt look a lot more fitted. “Now, see how much better that looks?” she said with a smile. Malikah had always hated her body, but there in the mirror, it didn’t look so bad. “Now these pants, on the other hand, are too small,” she said looking down. “Unless you’re wearing some type of cropped pant, they should never stop above your ankles. And, contrary to popular belief, a looser fit would actually make you look leaner.”

  Malikah was surprised at how much her sister knew about fashion. She felt like she was on one of those makeover shows. “How do you know all this?” she asked.

  “You know I’ve always loved clothes; and since I got married, I’ve been watching a lot of TV, mostly fashion and makeover shows. And Adam spoils me. I shop a lot.”

  “I wish,” Malikah said.

  “You don’t have to. Let’s go shopping now! I’ll give you a real makeover, with clothes, makeup, shoes, hair, everything!”

  “That all sounds nice, but I don’t have money for any of that.”

  “It’s fine. I’ll pay for it,” she said, fumbling through her purse and pulling out a credit card. “Well, Adam will pay for it,” she corrected herself.

  Malikah didn’t know what to say. She had never had a makeover before. “Well, in that case, let’s go.” She had actually starting to get excited, but it soon faded once they got to the mall. Seeing all the skinny girls trying on the skinny-girl clothes made her feel really self-conscious. She was scared to try anything on, because she knew it wouldn’t fit, as usual. Then would come the standard flood of depression and triple chocolate ice cream.

  “Oooh, this would go great with your skin,” Kalimah said, holding a purple blouse
up against her sister.

  “I don’t wear purple. It makes me look like Barney.”

  Kalimah chuckled. “You wouldn’t look like Barney, but we can try another color. How about this black, silk tank? It says ‘sophisticated, but still ready to party.’ Ooh, and then you could pair it with these pants,” she said grabbing a pair of jeans from the next rack. “And those heels,” she said, running down the aisle toward a pair of red pumps. By the time Kalimah had the entire outfit, she was out of breath. “Well, what do you think?”

  Malikah didn’t hear a word her sister said. She was too busy staring at Muhammad from across the room. Kalimah noticed that her sister was paying no attention and soon figured out why.

  “Is that Muhammad over there?” she asked. “I haven’t seen him in so long. He looks really nice.”

  “Yea, he does,” Malikah said, finally coming out of her trance.

  “Don’t tell me you still like him? It’s been about 5 years,” Kalimah said in disbelief. Malikah didn’t respond. “So, let’s go talk to him,” Kalimah said, reading her sister’s silence. She grabbed Malikah’s hand and pulled her toward Muhammad.

  “No, no, no!” Malikah yanked her hand away. “I’m not going over there so I can make a fool of myself.”

  “Come on. It won’t be that bad. I’ll go with you. I’ll talk first. You come in when you feel comfortable, okay?” Malikah didn’t respond, but she didn’t fight when her sister grabbed her hand again, either. “Muhammad, is that you?” Kalimah said as they got closer.

  He looked surprised to hear someone yelling his name, but when he recognized their faces, he smiled warmly.

  “Kalimah and Malikah, how are you guys? It’s so nice to see you.”

  “You too. What are you doing in the mall? I thought guys didn’t like shopping,” Kalimah said.

  “Oh, we don’t,” he reassured her. “I’m just picking up some new basketball shoes.”

  “Oh my god, is that entire rack half off?” Kalimah asked herself aloud. “Excuse me, guys. I think I see a dress with my name on it.” She winked at Malikah before she walked over toward one of the racks they had already looked at. Malikah knew what her sister was doing, and she didn’t like it. With Kalimah gone, she and Muhammad were left alone. She couldn’t sink into the background anymore. She had to say something.

  “Basketball shoes, huh? I remember you being really good.”

  “I’m alright. It keeps me active. It’s either that or hit the gym, and I’m not really into weights.”

  You could have fooled me with that body, she thought. But all she said was, “That’s cool.” She was really nervous. She couldn’t wait until Kalimah came back. Before she could think of something else to say, a tall, modelesque woman in a beautiful sparkly hijab walked up and put her arm around Muhammad.

  “You find your shoes, honey?” the mystery woman asked.

  “Not yet, but I see you found a few things,” he said, looking at the overflowing bags she was carrying.

  “I couldn’t help it, baby. They had a big sale and everything looked so cute on me.” She spoke in an annoying, whiny voice. Malikah thought she sounded like a little kid pleading with her father.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, Malikah. This is Ameerah, my wife.” His last words echoed in her mind like he had spoken them in an empty, carpetless room. Malikah felt her heart drop to the floor. His wife? Why hadn’t anyone told her he was married? She tried to hide her shock and greeted his wife like she were actually happy to meet her. Then she slid her hand in her pocket and secretly made her cell phone ring.

  She jumped, as if the ring scared her.

  “That must be Kalimah. She probably needs my opinion on something. You know how she is, so indecisive. Well, gotta go.” She walked away as fast as she could, fighting the urge to run.

  “Why are you out of breath?” Kalimah asked from behind a pile of clothes she had collected in the short period of time. “And why do you look like that? What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. Let’s go,” Malikah said angrily.

  “Okay, let me just try these pants on and then I can…” Malikah didn’t even let her sister finish.

  “Now!” she said firmly as she walked toward the exit. Kalimah put all her clothes down and followed her sister. Neither of them said anything the entire ride home. Kalimah wanted to talk to Malikah, but the look on her face warned her not to. Once they got back to the house, she followed Malikah up to her room. They sat in silence until Kalimah couldn’t take it anymore. It only took about a minute.

  “So are you going to tell me what happened?” Kalimah blurted out.

  Malikah didn’t answer for a few seconds. “He’s married,” she finally said.

  “Married? Muhammad? When? To who?” Kalimah looked just as surprised as Malikah was.

  “I don’t know. Some spoiled, skinny girl.”

  Kalimah could see how sad her sister was and tried to comfort her. “Oh, well he wasn’t that cute anyway, and it looked like his hairline was receding,” she lied.

  “He was that cute, and his hairline looked great. Everything about him looked great, including his Barbie wife,” Malikah said in a depressed voice. Ever since Muhammad transferred to her high school years ago, she had had a crush on him. From his first day of class, he was popular. Partly because he was so handsome and athletic, but mostly because he had such a great personality. He was so laid back and nice, not at all arrogant like the other popular kids. It was like he didn’t even know he was cool. She had always known that a guy like him was way out of her league, but that didn’t stop her from dreaming. Finding out he was married crushed her dream. She couldn’t stand to talk or think about it anymore. She changed the subject. “It’s getting pretty late. What time is Adam expecting you home?”

  “I’m staying the night,” Kalimah responded quickly. “Can I sleep in your room?”

  “You’re a newlywed. What are you doing trying to sleep with me?”

  “No reason. I just miss my family. So, can I sleep here?” She sounded slightly irritated.

  “Sure, if you want, but you know your room is still open. Dad never turned it into an office like he said he would.”

  “I know. I just want to sleep with you, unless that’s a problem.”

  “Not a problem at all. Strange, but not a problem.”

  Chapter 7- Mariam

  Time passed by quickly, and Mariam still hadn’t told her friends about her move. She knew the closer she got to the date, the harder it would be to tell them. She wanted to get it over with, but she was scared. How would they react? What would they do without her? What would she do without them? Even though she was the designated mother of the group, they did as much for her as she did for them. In different ways, they all helped each other out, either with advice, a shoulder to cry on, or just someone to talk to. She never thought she’d see the day when she moved away from her girls.

  Mariam opened her curtains to let the sun in. She was a morning person. She loved getting up to go jogging early, before the sun got too hot and the streets got too busy. She checked the time. It was almost 8 o’clock. She jumped in the shower and got dressed. She was meeting Rashad for breakfast. Over the past few weeks, they had both been busy and hadn’t spent much time together, so she was really looking forward to having breakfast with him. As she stood in front of her closet, looking for something to wear, she heard her phone ring. It was a text message from Rashad: Can’t make breakfast, honey. Working the morning shift. Call you around 1 o’clock.

  “Since when has he ever worked the morning shift?” she asked herself as she flopped on the bed. Even though Rashad sounded excited about the move, he had been acting weird ever since she told him. Maybe he didn’t want to go. Maybe he just said he did to be nice. Maybe he didn’t want to get married, or maybe he just didn’t want to marry her. Mariam’s mind was racing with thoughts about Rashad and his recent behavior. She could feel herself starting to get a headache, so she tried to think about something else.

  She didn’t need Rashad to go to breakfast, and she was still hungry. She got dressed and went ahead with her plans. Mariam was so used to going to Starr that she was halfway there before she even realized where she was going. She made the first U-turn she could. She didn’t want to see him. Once she was driving in the opposite direction, she didn’t know where she was going. She drove slowly, looking for a place that looked interesting. She remembered passing a small Italian restaurant she had always wanted to try. She thought the purple awning and yellow flowers out front looked pretty and inviting.