What We Learned Along the Way Read online

  Mariam wasn’t as stunning, but beautiful still. Her style was more “all-American girl.” She often looked professional, like she was going to work, even when she wasn’t trying to. For the concert, she wore a cute pair of denim trousers with a long pink tank top, a light green blazer, a simple pair of pearls, and matching hijab. She looked like the Muslim version of a Tommy Hilfiger model.

  Potentially, Malikah was just as beautiful as the others, but she didn’t know it. She was insecure and always wished she looked like someone else. She has trouble seeing how beautiful she was on her own. She wasn’t as tall as Jaime, her hair wasn’t as long as Aliya’s, and her outfits never looked as cute and put together as Mariam’s, but she was beautiful. Rather than focus on her flawless skin and beautiful eyes, she obsessed over her weight, thanks to her mother. She wasn’t fat at all (a solid size 14 and carried it well) but she didn’t like it. Mariam couldn’t understand how unhappy Malikah was with her body. She had curves Mariam would die for.

  “Happy Birthday,” Aliya said as she gave Malikah a huge hug. “How have you been? I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

  Mariam loved the way Aliya always seemed so warm and happy to see everyone. After 40 minutes of Malikah and Jaime’s game of the silent treatment, it was all she needed to see a smiling face. Ever since Aliya started working overtime at Starr, they didn’t get to see that much of her anymore. When they were younger, they did everything together, but now that they were getting older, they saw less and less of each other. They hadn’t all been out together in over a month.

  Mariam and Malikah went to the same college, but they didn’t see each other that often. Mariam was student body president. She was always planning a bake sale, a car wash, a sit-in, or some kind of forum. She had little time to spend socializing. Jaime was head of the planning committee at the mosque, but she really wasn’t as busy as you would think. The committee was a fairly large one, and rather than take responsibility like most leaders, she merely divvied up all of her work for everyone else to do. Jaime loved being the committee chair. She had no idea most of the committee hated her.

  Mariam announced that they should be getting to their seats, so they all started heading in. Because of the large crowd, they held hands to keep from getting separated. As they walked to their seats, Mariam hoped that everything would go well. She didn’t have the energy to diffuse anymore tense situations. When they got to their seats in the 5th row, Malikah almost lost her mind. “I can’t believe we are this close to the stage! How did you get these seats?” she asked with excitement. “I could practically jump on stage and sing backup!”

  “Don’t worry about all that. I’ve got connections,” Mariam said nonchalantly. She didn’t tell her she’d won them on the radio.

  Mariam liked seeing her friend so happy. After the fish fiasco, she needed something big, and this was it. She looked down the row at her three friends laughing and enjoying each other’s company. She could feel tears welling up as she thought about how this might be the last time she saw them all together for a long time. Though Mariam had known for a few weeks, she still hadn’t found the right time to tell her friends she had been offered and was accepting a job in Chicago. All the hard work she had put into her college career was finally paying off.

  Mariam had gone through a rigorous interviewing process for a position as creative director at Meredith Advertising firm. She knew it was a hard job to get, but Mariam had always been the type to reach for the impossible. She had an impressive resume and the GPA to match, so when she heard that out of the 200 original applicants, she was in the top 4, she wasn’t surprised. She was surprised, though, when she received a letter from Meredith Headquarters. It said they were so impressed with her that not only did they want to offer her the position, but that they wanted her to work from the head branch in Chicago. They would provide her transportation and living arrangements. The only thing that would have stopped her was Rashad. They had been discussing marriage a lot lately, and she didn’t know what would happen if she moved to another state.

  To her surprise, Rashad was excited about the news. He said he was growing tired of Houston and thought a change of scenery might do them some good. He was the head chef at Starr, the same restaurant where Aliya worked as a bartender. He knew it was a national chain and felt pretty sure they had a location in Chicago. All he had to do was get transferred. After hearing that Rashad was on board, Mariam was sure about her decision. She was moving to Chicago after graduation. She loved Rashad and couldn’t believe they were going to be making a move like this. She just hoped he would propose soon.

  Chapter 4- Jaime

  By the end of the night, they were all tired and decided to go back to Aliya’s for a nightcap. Though Jaime wouldn’t have admitted it to her parents, she had a great time. They didn’t like her listening to worldly music, so she didn’t bother telling them about the concert. She only hoped they wouldn’t ask what she did once she got home. By the time they got to Aliya’s, it was after midnight. Jaime loved Aliya’s house. Though she was a lot less religious, Jaime never talked to Aliya the way she did Malikah. Part of it was because she knew Aliya wouldn’t hesitate to put her in her place, but a bigger part was that she secretly admired Aliya for being so strong and independent. Aliya never worried about what others thought of her and didn’t spend her life trying to impress people. She was free to be herself.

  Though she was the youngest in the group, she was the first to have her own place. It was decorated so nicely that you wouldn’t think a 20-year-old lived there. It looked more like a swanky apartment that belonged to a 30-something fashion designer or maybe an up-and-coming artist. It was full of color and texture. Jaime loved all the art on the walls. Her favorite was her framed black and white picture of Ella Fitzgerald.

  Jaime dreamed of having her own place, but her parents wouldn’t hear of it. They wanted her to stay home until she got married. If she was as bold as Aliya, she would have told them she was an adult who could take care of herself. She would have said it would be good for her to step out on her own and start to establish her own life instead of having it dictated to her. She would have told them getting a job and making her own decisions wouldn’t make her a bad Muslim, but she couldn’t say any of that, not to their faces anyway. Sometimes she felt so trapped that she wanted to scream.

  While Jaime sat on the couch and imagined what it would be like if Aliya’s apartment where her own, everyone else raided the fridge. “Take anything you want,” Aliya yelled from the bedroom. Mariam and Malikah were already busy feasting on pizza, chips, cookies and ice cream.

  “I really shouldn’t be eating this,” Malikah said between bites. “I’m trying to lose 20 pounds, so I can be skinny like yall.”

  “For what?” Mariam asked with her hand in the potato chip bag. “You have a cute body. Why are you obsessed with losing weight?”

  “Because I’m sick of being fat.”

  “You obviously haven’t memorized the house rules,” Aliya said as she came into the kitchen. She had changed into a pair of sweat pants and an oversized tee. Even then, she was beautiful. “In my house, we don’t talk negatively about others or ourselves. We only talk about how fabulous we are and how all the men love us!” Aliya laughed as she grabbed a bottle of water from the table and sat down with her friends. “No, seriously, though,” she said softly as she put her arm around Malikah. “Don’t ever doubt how beautiful you are. You are always comparing yourself to us, but the man you’re going to marry won’t want a woman that looks like us. He’ll want you.”

  “And how do you expect to attract a good man if you don’t even like yourself?” Mariam added.

  While the other girls talked, Jaime was quite. Finally, someone noticed.

  “Why are you so quiet, Jaime?” Mariam asked. It wasn’t normal for her to pass up a chance to talk about herself in front of everyone else.

  “Oh, no reason.”

  “She’s probably scared her parent
s will find out she’s been listening to music with us pants-wearing heifers,” Malikah joked. Jaime remained quiet. Malikah knew then something was wrong. The Jaime she knew would never take a shot from her without firing back an acidic response.

  “Talk to us, Jay. What’s wrong?” Aliya asked. Jaime looked around at her friends. Then she put her head down and began to cry. They were all shocked. They hadn’t seen Jaime cry since she was 7 and accidently ate a piece of ham.

  “Do you ever feel like you’re suffocating? Like you literally can’t breathe? Like you’re standing in a room full of people trying to yell at the top of your lungs, but no sound is coming out?” She paused for a second to catch her breath. “Aliya, look at you. You’re younger than all of us and you’ve done so much for yourself already. And you,” she said, turning to Mariam, “you’re so driven, so dedicated.” Then she turned to Malikah. “Even you, Malikah,” she had to think for a second for something to say about her, “I know you’re in school and have been forever with no real direction and may never even graduate, but you never give up.”

  Malikah knew that, from Jaime, that was as close to a compliment as she was going to get. It was odd, because even with the backhanded compliment, she had never felt as close to Jaime as she did at that moment. Even though she wasn’t even sure what she was talking about, she felt she understood. She could see pain in her eyes and recognized it. It was the same pain she felt all the time when she was alone in her room.

  “I’m 22 years old, and I haven’t been anywhere or done anything without my parents. Everything I’ve ever had, my father has gotten for me. I haven’t done a thing for myself and I can’t stand it. I had to beg them to let me go to college, and for what? So I could graduate at the top of my class and then sit home and stare at my dusty degree? According to my dad, ‘it’s not proper for a Muslim woman to get a job and work around all those godless men,’” she said, imitating her father’s voice. “I can’t take it anymore. I just look at you all and feel like I’m missing out on so much.”

  “Have you tried talking to them?” Mariam asked.

  “Until I’m blue in the face. They don’t listen to me,” Jaime answered.

  “You’re parents love you and only want the best. I’m sure they don’t realize that you’re so unhappy,” Mariam said softly while rubbing Jaime’s back.

  “I’ve seen you around your parents, Jay. Not to be mean, but you have no backbone. You’re like a 3 year old when they’re around,” Aliya said in a far less sympathetic voice. She had always been a no-nonsense, give-it-to-you-straight kind of girl. “You’ve got to stand up for yourself and let them know that they’ve raised a wonderful young woman who can think for herself.”

  Jaime looked at the clock and saw that it was nearly 3 am. She stood up and started to gather her things. “It’s pretty late, guys. They hate it when I come home late. I’ll call a cab.”

  “At this time of night? Girl, you aren’t going anywhere.” Aliya commanded. “You’re staying right here with me. I’ll take you home tomorrow morning.”

  “But my parents,” Jaime began to complain.

  “Your parents will be just fine. They know you’re with us and that we wouldn’t let anything happen to you.” Aliya didn’t even wait to see if Jaime agreed or not. She went in the back room and brought out some extra covers and pillows. Mariam and Malikah were pretty tired too, so they all camped out on the living room floor.

  Chapter 5- Aliya

  Between the excitement of the concert and Jaime’s parent problems, Aliya had forgotten all about Langston; but that night, she dreamt about him. When she woke up and realized the whole thing was a dream, all she could say was “Damn. Oh well.” She told herself that a guy that perfect had to be married or at least involved with someone. He was probably gay or into that “down low” mess, she told herself. In less than five minutes, she had convinced herself he had to be a crazed bank-robbing rapist, anything to make herself feel better about not getting his number.

  The clock on the wall read 10 am. She noticed that Mariam and Malikah were gone. There was a note left on top of a pillow:

  Sorry to leave so early. Didn’t want to wake you. Someone called in sick at work. I’m going to cover. I’m taking Malikah home, too. Call you later. Salaam.

  “That’s just like Mariam,” Aliya said to herself. “Always ready to help someone. She’d cover someone from her death bed if she could.” She folded up the extra covers, careful not to wake Jaime. Then she went into the kitchen and made some eggs and pancakes. By the time she was done, the wonderful smell had already awakened Jaime. “Morning, Sunshine,” Aliya greeted her.

  Jaime was still half asleep. All she managed was a groggy, “Hey.”

  “I know you’re dying to call your parents. You can use my phone. By the way, what happened to yours?”

  Jaime looked embarrassed. “They took it. My mom was looking at my outgoing calls one day and saw that I had been talking to Joseph.” Jaime couldn’t believe she just told her that. She was planning on telling everyone she had dropped her phone in the toilet, but she was too sleepy to lie.

  “Are you serious?” Aliya couldn’t believe her ears. “Oh, girl, I would have gone crazy living in your house. Come eat,” she motioned for Jaime to come sit at the table. “So are you in a rush to go home or do you want to chill a bit?”

  “Uh, I’m in no rush. I don’t really have anything to do at home. I don’t have any committee meetings or anything.”

  “I have to go work for a few hours. Want to come?”

  Jaime had been to Starr before, but Aliya was a bartender, and Jaime didn’t think she should be spending her morning at a bar. Reading the concern on Jaime’s face, Aliya reassured her.

  “Don’t worry. It’s not that bad. It’s still early, so no one is ordering drinks yet. Mostly appetizers and sodas. Come on. It’ll be fun. I can get you free food,” she said, trying to convince her friend.

  “Well, I guess I could come. Let me just call my parents.” Aliya pointed in the direction of the phone. While Jaime talked to her parents, Aliya took a quick shower and got dressed.

  She wore her usual black Starr tank, a pair of fitted jeans. She ran the flatiron through her hair and pulled it back into a neat ponytail. She gave Jaime a fresh pair of jeans and a tank to wear under her abaya.

  On the way to work, Aliya told Jaime about Langston. “Girl, you had to see this guy. He was beautiful and polite, not like those immature men that are always trying to grab all over you. He was so respectful.” She paused for a second. “But he sounds too good to be true, doesn’t he?” she said, searching for confirmation. “I’m sure he is married with, like, 8 kids, or gay or something, right?

  All Jaime wanted to know was, “Is he Muslim?”

  “I don’t know, and I don’t care. Being a Muslim doesn’t make you a good man. I’ve been cheated on by Muslims and Christians alike,” Aliya answered with a slight attitude. She hated when people told her to get a Muslim man. Jaime could sense her annoyance, so she let it go and told her friend what she wanted to hear.

  “Yeah, he was probably gay,” Jaime replied.

  Aliya was like a celebrity at her job. Everyone there, including the customers, knew her name and seemed happy to see her.

  “You can hang out here.” Aliya pulled up a stool for Jaime. “I have to go in the back for a second.” She gave Rashad a quick hugs she walked past. Jaime was shocked. She didn’t like to see men and women touch so freely.

  “As salaam alaikum, Jaime,” Rashad said with a big smile. “How have you been?”

  Rashad was very attractive. She thought he looked cute in his chef’s hat. He always made her a little nervous when he spoke to her. She felt bad because he was he practically engaged to Mariam.

  “Wa alaikum salaam. I’m fine,” she replied. “You don’t mind that she hugs you like that?”

  “Who, Aliya?” he asked, pointing behind him toward the kitchen. “You know how she is. She hugs everyone. She’s just
one of those huggy types,” he said casually.

  “Oh,” Jaime said with a certain snootiness about her.

  “I’ve got to get back to work. I’ll see you later.” Rashad went back into the kitchen. Just as he left, Aliya came back out and went to seat some customers. She dropped a bowl of pretzels in front of Jaime as she passed. Aliya was surprised to see the restaurant so busy at such an early hour. She felt bad leaving Jaime alone at the bar, but she had to work. In about an hour, she sat 15 tables and served 9 of them. The crowd was steady streaming in. She sat down for a second in the back to get a quick break.

  “I know you’re not taking a break now,” Rashad said jokingly as he walked by.

  “Oh, I know. It’s just so busy out there. Needed a moment to catch my breath. I feel bad. Can you check on Jaime? See if she needs anything?

  “Do I have to? That girl has a bad attitude.”

  “Please, Rashad. You know she’s not used to being in an environment like this. She’s Mariam’s best friend,” Aliya pleaded.

  “You owe me,” he said as he left the kitchen.

  After giving herself a one minute pep talk, Aliya found the energy to get back to work. Just as she opened the door, one of her co-workers asked her to cover table 10. “It’s just one guy. He looks pretty easy to please, and he’s cute,” she said with a wink. Aliya walked over toward the table. Because of the dim lighting, she couldn’t see his face yet, but from his silhouette, he looked like he had broad shoulders. When she got closer, she recognized the face. It was Langston.